Pros and Cons of Finding Out Baby's Gender
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One of the biggest joys of the pregnancy journey (besides the excitement of a positive test) is finding out whether your little peanut is going to be a girl or a boy. It’s a question that all expectant parents have pondered, and until the introduction of the ultrasound in the 1970s, the mystery wasn’t solved until the day of birth.1
Nowadays, screening tests like blood tests and gender scans can determine the fetal sex as early as five weeks.2 This eliminates the need to wait until their birthday to determine their sex. But does that mean you should find out ahead of time?
There’s no right or wrong answer. There are pros and cons of finding out gender specifics for your little one, and we’re here to help you decide which choice might be the right one for you and your family.
Table of Contents
Introduction to the Debate Pros of Finding Out the Baby’s Gender Planning and Preparation Personalized Gifts and Nursery Decor Toys and Accessories Themed Decor Building a Connection with the Baby Cons of Finding Out the Baby’s Gender Reduced Surprise and Excitement Potential for Gender Stereotyping Questions to Consider When Deciding Tips for Making the Decision Discuss with Your Partner Reflect on Your Values and Desires Posh Peanut: Your Go-To for Baby Essentials
Introduction to the Debate
Pregnancy is a time full of excitement and wonder. Will they have your eyes? What will their little personality be like? And, of course, the question on everyone’s mind—will they be a boy or a girl?
In recent years, finding out your baby’s gender has become easier than ever before. With blood tests, genetic testing, and the classic gender-determining sonogram, there are many options available. But just because it’s so possible, does that mean everybody wants to learn their baby’s gender?
According to a Harvard study from the early 2000s, 58% of men and women said they found out or planned to find out the sex of their babies before the birth.3 However, the practice of determining the baby's gender before birth is not universally accepted.
So, what is the debate between finding out your baby’s gender in utero versus waiting until they’re born? It revolves around several differing perspectives, including:
The element of surprise – To be surprised on the day of the birth or to find out as soon as possible; that is the question.
Practical preparation – Some expectant parents prefer to know the gender so they can prepare accordingly.
Ethical considerations – Countries like India, China, and South Korea have restrictions in place to prevent sex-selective practices. In these countries, learning the baby's gender before birth is either banned or tightly regulated to address concerns about gender disappointment, which can lead to gender discrimination and imbalances.4
Pros of Finding Out the Baby’s Gender
Learning your baby’s gender can bring a wave of unexpected joy to curious parents. Many parents also enjoy planning a gender reveal party to share this joy with their friends and family. A gender reveal not only allows you to know your baby’s gender, but it also provides the key to unlocking several benefits, which we break down below.
Planning and Preparation
When you’ve just found out you’re pregnant, nine months may seem like a long time to wait for your little peanut to arrive. But we promise, the time goes by quickly. Before you know it, you’ll be rocking them in your arms and cooing their name in an aptly themed baby nursery you prepared just for them.
However, during those nine months, you’re gifted with time to complete some common baby preparations, such as:
Choosing a color for their nursery
Stocking up on all of the baby essentials, like crib sheets and diapers
Deciding on a name that’ll stick with them for the rest of their lives
For parents who thrive on having a plan in place, knowing the sex of their baby ahead of time can make it easier to choose a name, register or buy baby clothes, and decorate the nursery according to traditional gender norms. However, caregivers who choose to wait argue that it’s entirely possible to create a short list of boy and girl names and select gender-neutral baby colors in the nursery and clothing department.
Personalized Gifts and Nursery Decor
When it comes to baby essentials, some parents insist that finding out their little one’s gender allows them to customize accordingly. How else are they going to know whether they can buy all of those adorable gender-specific clothes like bubble rompers and dresses they’ve been eyeing online for the past few months?
In addition to helping you choose clothes that might more traditionally represent your little one’s gender, there are a few other aspects that some parents prefer to choose based on whether they’re having a boy or girl, including:
Toys and Accessories
While many newborn toys are designed to be gender-neutral (think play gyms and tummy time mirrors), it’s common for toys to be categorized in various ways as children grow. Knowing the baby’s gender in advance can help parents plan more effectively.
For example, parents expecting a second baby might have stored away toys from their first child, like dolls and dress-up clothes. If they find out their new baby will be of the opposite gender, they can choose to donate some of these toys while keeping a few as keepsakes. Knowing the baby’s gender can also assist family and friends in selecting thoughtful gifts.
Themed Decor
There are tons of unique gender-neutral baby nursery themes to choose from, but if you have a gender-specific theme in mind, such as cars or flowers, it’s helpful to know the gender beforehand. This gives you time to decorate the nursery according to your chosen theme and create a more personalized space for your little peanut.
Building a Connection with the Baby
For many moms, the idea that they’re growing a human in their bellies doesn’t become real until the moment they feel those first flutters. For others, it’s when they hear their babies cry for the first time.
Some parents feel like they can connect with their babies sooner—and on a deeper level—if they know whether they’re having a boy or a girl. It helps them imagine a future with their little one more vividly, whether it’s picturing their child in specific outfits or simply starting to bond with a clearer sense of their baby’s gender identity.
Cons of Finding Out the Baby’s Gender
As with many decisions in life, finding out your baby's gender before birth has its pros and cons. Below, we explore some of the drawbacks of finding out the gender before birth.
Reduced Surprise and Excitement
One of the benefits of not finding out baby gender details before birth is the thrill and excitement you'll experience when the doctor announces it at the moment of birth. For some parents, finding out in advance diminishes this excitement.
In a world where instant gratification is the norm, choosing to wait offers a unique experience for parents. Many who wait until birth argue that the anticipation builds throughout the pregnancy, making the moment of revelation incredibly special and emotionally charged.
This anticipation also amplifies the excitement surrounding the birth announcement. It adds to the thrill for family and friends who are eager to learn whether you’ve had a boy or a girl.
Potential for Gender Stereotyping
For some, knowing the gender before birth can inadvertently reinforce gender stereotypes and expectations. In the earlier example, the parents who discovered their second baby would be a boy decided to discard a box of toys typically associated with girls.
While they could buy new toys commonly marketed to boys, keeping the box with dolls and princesses might have allowed their child to explore a broader range of play options. This approach may foster a more inclusive and varied play experience for the child.
Questions to Consider When Deciding
Before you make your final decision, here are a few questions to ponder to help you decide what’s best for you:
Do you prefer a surprise on the day of the birth or would you rather plan ahead?
Will knowing your baby’s gender ahead of time positively or negatively impact your pregnancy journey and birth experience?
Does a gender-neutral nursery theme appeal to you or do you prefer a gender-specific theme?
Do you want to pick out gender-specific clothes for your little one before they’re born?
Tips for Making the Decision
If you’re still unsure on what choice to make, here are a few final tips:
Discuss with Your Partner
You may feel one way about finding out the gender, while your partner may feel another. Ask them the questions above to determine where they stand. As a team, you can consider one another’s perspectives and work toward a solution that satisfies both of you.
Reflect on Your Values and Desires
Consider how knowing (or not knowing) aligns with the experience you want during birth. If you value the surprise and excitement, you might appreciate the build-up that comes with waiting until they’re born. If you’re a planner and want to organize the nursery and the other details ahead of time, learning the sex before birth might be right for you.
Posh Peanut: Your Go-To for Baby Essentials
Regardless of whether you choose to learn your baby’s gender now or after the birth, one thing is for sure—they’ll be loved from the moment they’re born. Another guarantee? Newborns go through a lot of clothes, so you’ll want to stock up on all of their cute and tiny clothing essentials.
With Posh Peanut’s viscose from bamboo material, you can confidently dress them in the cutest and comfiest gender-neutral baby clothes from day one, ensuring they come home in style. From soft and stretchy one-pieces to unisex baby rompers , we’re your one-stop shop for all of your boy, girl, and gender-neutral clothing needs.
Browse our collection and stock up before your little one’s big reveal.
Sources:
1 PRB. When Technology and Tradition Collide: From Gender Bis to Sex Selection Fact Sheet.
2 NBC. Blood test tells gender of fetus early as 5 weeks.
https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/blood-test-tells-gender-fetus-early-5-weeks-flna1c9441805
3 Wiley Online Library. What Factors Are Associated with Parents’ Desire To Know the Sex of Their Unborn Child?
4 NIH. Is banning sex-selection the best approach for reducing prenatal discrimination?
