Let’s shut down the gatekeeping and talk about why stay-at-home moms are heroes, just like working moms, single moms and work-at-home moms!

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 Whether you’ve been a working mom, work-at-home mom or stay-at-home mom, you’ve likely faced your share of difficult times. Being a parent is never easy, and mom shamers seem to find you every time. Women are either shamed for not working or shamed for working too much, and it’s simply not fair. While it’s no surprise that working and raising children is hard work (for any and all parents), it’s often discounted how hard it is for stay-home-moms too. After seeing a few too many articles with titles like “Stay-at-Home Moms Complain Too Much,” I wanted to remind everyone that stay-at-home moms are heroes too. In fact, all parents are heroes. It’s time to stop gatekeeping. 

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It is a privilege to be a stay-at-home parent (and no, I am not one). Any mother who makes the choice to stay home with her children is probably proud to do so, and she should be. There’s no shame in raising children, so why should there be shame in raising children as a full-time job? 

Making a Case that Stay-at-Home Moms are Heroes Too

Just as any working parent knows, you leave one job to come home to the job of being a parent. The only difference for stay-at-home moms is it’s all one job, all the time. Stay-at-home moms are heroes because, quite simply, they can’t get away from their kids. There is little privacy, quiet time or time left for yourself. This job doesn’t have sick days either.

 “Why are you so tired? You didn’t even have to put on pants today.”

“You’re just lucky you don’t have a boss.”

 “You don’t have anything to complain about.”

“If you were home, then why is the house a mess?”

These are just a few things that may grind any stay-at-home mom’s teeth. Instead of constantly gatekeeping who is allowed to be tired or who is allowed to complain, let’s focus on celebrating everyone’s contributions as a parent. For a stay-at-home mom, their boss is a literal toddler, and the house is a mess because the kids unfold every piece of laundry she just folded. No, she didn’t put on pants today because everything is probably covered in spit-up. Instead of celebrating how heroic stay-at-home moms are, you see too many working parents (or non-parents for that matter) treat it like a competition of who is allowed to feel a certain way.

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 Whether they’re hearing it from a working friend, their mother in law, their spouse or someone else, it’s hurtful for stay-at-home moms to hear they aren’t valued as much as a working mother. I hope more and more women will come to support each other for the work they do – whether it’s in or out of the house. Every parent is a hero for managing the tough job of raising children.

Tell us why else you think working moms and stay-at-home moms are heroes.

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Holly Wade
Tags: mom shaming

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