Letโ€™s shut down the gatekeeping and talk about why stay-at-home moms are heroes, just like working moms, single moms and work-at-home moms!

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ย Whether youโ€™ve been a working mom, work-at-home mom or stay-at-home mom, youโ€™ve likely faced your share of difficult times. Being a parent is never easy, and mom shamers seem to find you every time. Women are either shamed for not working or shamed for working too much, and itโ€™s simply not fair. While itโ€™s no surprise that working and raising children is hard work (for any and all parents), itโ€™s often discounted how hard it is for stay-home-moms too. After seeing a few too many articles with titles like โ€œStay-at-Home Moms Complain Too Much,โ€ I wanted to remind everyone that stay-at-home moms are heroes too. In fact, all parents are heroes. Itโ€™s time to stop gatekeeping.ย 

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It is a privilege to be a stay-at-home parent (and no, I am not one). Any mother who makes the choice to stay home with her children is probably proud to do so, and she should be. Thereโ€™s no shame in raising children, so why should there be shame in raising children as a full-time job?ย 

Making a Case that Stay-at-Home Moms are Heroes Too

Just as any working parent knows, you leave one job to come home to the job of being a parent. The only difference for stay-at-home moms is itโ€™s all one job, all the time. Stay-at-home moms are heroes because, quite simply, they canโ€™t get away from their kids. There is little privacy, quiet time or time left for yourself. This job doesnโ€™t have sick days either.

ย โ€œWhy are you so tired? You didnโ€™t even have to put on pants today.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re just lucky you donโ€™t have a boss.โ€

ย โ€œYou donโ€™t have anything to complain about.โ€

โ€œIf you were home, then why is the house a mess?โ€

These are just a few things that may grind any stay-at-home momโ€™s teeth. Instead of constantly gatekeeping who is allowed to be tired or who is allowed to complain, letโ€™s focus on celebrating everyoneโ€™s contributions as a parent. For a stay-at-home mom, their boss is a literal toddler, and the house is a mess because the kids unfold every piece of laundry she just folded. No, she didnโ€™t put on pants today because everything is probably covered in spit-up. Instead of celebrating how heroic stay-at-home moms are, you see too many working parents (or non-parents for that matter) treat it like a competition of who is allowed to feel a certain way.

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ย Whether theyโ€™re hearing it from a working friend, their mother in law, their spouse or someone else, itโ€™s hurtful for stay-at-home moms to hear they arenโ€™t valued as much as a working mother. I hope more and more women will come to support each other for the work they do โ€“ whether itโ€™s in or out of the house. Every parent is a hero for managing the tough job of raising children.

Tell us why else you think working moms and stay-at-home moms are heroes.

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Holly Wade
Tags: mom shaming

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